2015-2016 

In 2015, I was a Taoist and had been married to my wife, Susan Toh, a cradle Catholic, for eight years. After much resistance and hesitation, I attended the Conversion Experience Retreat 47 (CER 47) at the Catholic Spirituality Centre (CSC) with her. 

The five-day retreat changed my life as it gave me an opportunity to encounter God and receive His gift of faith. The experiences at Eucharistic Adoration, Healing sessions and Reconciliation (counselling for non-Catholic) were deeply moving. I have never cried so much in my life before. I joined the retreat as a Taoist and left as a “Catholic” in my heart.

It was early August and the RCIA programs I searched for was not taking new enquirers. God’s plan was amazing - in my retreat dinning group as a retreatant was Fr Edward Lim, OCD. Unknown to me, he was the spiritual director of the RCIA program at The Church of St Peter and Paul (SPP). On the final day of the retreat, he invited me to join the RCIA program there and two days after the retreat, I started my RCIA journey.

I was the youngest of three children in my family and my parents had previously warned us not to become Christian for fear that we will not be able to remain filial to pay our respect or pray for them with joss stick when they passed on. I was deeply moved when I learnt, at CER 47, that it is fine to use the joss sticks to pay respect as long as it is done out of love. The same message was repeated twice at the RCIA journey for me to fully understand its meaning as it was important for me personally. In my reflections, Our Lord understands our hearts and loves us even before we know Him.

One of my struggles and worries for the RCIA journey was that of my parents’ acceptance of my new faith. It was about a month into RCIA that I finally inform my mum over the phone during the RCIA retreat which coincided with the Hungry Ghost Festival. I was deeply troubled with my mum’s silence over the phone.

Some months later, at the death anniversary of my grandmother, I offered joss stick to her and both my parents were extremely surprised. My mum asked that I also pray to the Taoist deity, but I calmly refused and explained that we can offer incense to our dearly departed and ancestors, but not to Taoist deities. To my astonishment, they accepted it and said that it is fine as long as I can pay respect to my grandparents. In that moment, I could sense their relief and joy and I understood how the Lord has prepared and helped me in my journey. Looking back, our Lord works in amazing ways if we surrender our anxieties and worries to Him and learn to trust in Him in everything.

My Baptism at Easter Virgil on 26th March 2016, was filled with immense feeling of lightness and inexpressible joy. My first communion in the two species was a very unforgettable experience, filled with jubilant joy and indescribable peace. The overwhelming feeling of joy and happiness kept me awake the entire night and we went back to SPP the next morning for the Easter Sunday Mass.

May 9th, 2024